Not all of my projects go well. There was the time that I mis-wired a lamp and exploded its on-off switch. There were sparks and everything. There was the time that tried to add a fancy border to my fireplace surround and it looked like a child’s drawing. And then there were these. Some little projects that almost were, but never actually saw the light of the blog until now because they started out so terribly that I never bothered to finish them. Blogger friends, we’ve all done it. What are your #megafail tales?
1. White on White
Something that started innocently as an effort to upcycle some leftover plywood and replicate something that I saw so craftily made in Anthropologie bombed big time (and I’m still getting over it). The plywood itself I’ve been saving and moving around from apartment to apartment to apartment to house since 2006. Painted by my long-time friend Katie for her then-roommate, it served as a one-of-a-kind desktop. When it came time to trash or save it when she moved out of the apartment we shared, I saved it. I still think it’ll be a pretty accent somewhere, someday, even if it does say “JESS” up the right corner.
To get it out of the garage during our recent spring cleanout, I moved it into the sunroom and sawed 15″ off the end evenly so that it would hang easily on the largest open wall without windows. I didn’t lose the cursive-written name, just the star at the end, really.
Because the whole sunroom is still white (and actually the only room with walls that I have not yet painted), I wanted to create a little low-profile, low-focal point piece of art to add a little texture. I slathered some white primer along the unfinished backside of the art, and then set out to mimic a layered tissue-paper design that I had seen in Anthropologie.
The tissue paper itself, I painted using a very light gray, almost white, paint that I had in my leftover paint stash. To create some visual interest, I painted a stripe on each piece of tissue paper and then let it dry.
To create the layered effect, I used polyurethane like one might use mod podge, and painted it beneath and on top of each piece of tissue paper to create a mixed media collage type of effect.
It was pretty evident early on that this was going to be a bust. The paper wasn’t laying smooth, I couldn’t brush the ripples out.
And even after it dried, the white paint beneath the clear coat of poly was barely visible because the transparency of the tissue paper made it blend in too closely with the primed plywood. I finished over half of it, called it a night to see how it would look in the morning, and then scrapped it.
On to another plan. Will keep you attuned.
2. The Paper Lampshade
Meet the old cute lamp that belongs to Pete, and a Walmart lampshade that I befriended during college. Neither still in use, I decided to use the lampshade structure to frame out a new shade for the green light.
It started out something like this, wherein I demolished the lampshade with my teeth and left it’s skin for dead. What I hoped would be salvable, besides the welded metal that allows you to screw the new shade onto the existing light, was that plastic framing that gave the shade its structure. In reality, it ended up being weird and fuzzy without its fur attached.
Maybe I could cover up the lampshade plastic with a cute ruffly paper design though. No? This attempt looks taped together and assembled as well as the paper princess crowns that the kids make a the Museum of Play. Am I right, or am I right?
And that’s a #megafail.
3. Don’t even bother with the faux-milk glass thing, OK?
It’s enough that I tried it and put it through its rigors. Not worth it.
I still see tutorials for DIY milk glass all over the pinterest-vere but from experience, three things happened:
- The paint took about 6-months to dry. I’m not exaggerating; there wasn’t enough circulation, particularly in the more funnel-shaped IKEA vase, to cure the paint sufficiently.
- When it did dry, it was streaky. I was careful to have clean glasses, and I was careful to rotate them while they were dripping and curing for the first day, but the paint still slid down the edges giving the dried pieces a runny-looking effect.
- They’re not good for anything; not real flowers, which appeared paint-poisoned within a day of sitting in the jar, and not fake stems or branches, because they scratch it up from the inside so much that it destroys whatever not-streaky finish remains.
Live and learn, but that’s a #megafail. Just avoid it. Save your paint and time and pretty containers.
What have you attempted lately but totally screwed up in execution?
9 Comments
Love it! :-)
I’ve tried recovering a lampshade with material from an old bedsheet and some sisal rope. Looked like something you’d see in a cheap country bar. And I tried the watered-down glue with food colouring in a glass bottle thing (I’m sure there is a name for it) but the glue didn’t stick at all – it just puddled at the bottom of the bottle.
Glad to know I’m not the only one!
Glad to hear that the mod podge version of the tinted glass was over-rated too (I think mod podge is what you’re referring to)! I’ve seen a few tutorials of the project that make it look a little foolproof but after my milk glass experience I was skeptical. I’m embracing the clear glass.
I was obsessed with rollers shades for awhile and tried to make one out of my favorite wallpaper. Fail. When I brought cheap vinyl shades and glued the wall papers on the shades. Fail. I cut the vinyl shades off the rollers and glued canvas onto them. Kind of worked if abit crooked, until I noticed I have a streetlight right outside my bedroom window. Why didn’t I notice that before? In the end I end up buying curtains from PB and blackout liners and double curtain rods from Target. The roller shades are still there, just not used anymore.
I never would have even thought of making roller shades. And I love roller shades. I know I should be learning from your experience, but really, the gears are turning.
Ha! Well, my mailbox from 4 years ago was a fail after the first week. The birds pecked at the painted bumblebees until they had exposed the plastic mailbox underneath ;-(. But I lived with it until this past week. I just finished making a “mini-me” of my house as our new mailbox. Posted about it today ;-).
First of all, that’s really funny about the birds and the bees. And also, your new mailbox looks awesome. Such a great idea!
I actually read a lot of tutorials on painted mason jars, trying to replicate the blue jars that are so coveted (and expensive!) at antique stores and flea markets. The modge podge thing was the most popular, but I had really good luck with a transparent glass paint from the craft store. I used a foam brush and painted the inside of the mason jar. Heads up though – it will appear “streaky” as you are painting, but once it is dry, it clears up and gives the jar a really great tint! You just pop them in the oven for the recommended time and they are good to go!
The only major fail we’ve had is when we put in a patio made from upcycled cement pieces from another spot in our yard. It was two weekends worth of hard manual labor. A month later the ground had reclaimed the pieces and we had to dig them up. That space is now our garden.
The reason we don’t have more fails? We talk about projects but never really do them. In our entry I have a mail center with a small chalkboard area. Since 2007 we’ve been keeping track of the major projects we want to complete. The list doesn’t change – every year I just cross off the last digit and update it.
I think spray painting bottles would be the way to go if you want opaque colored bottles. I just saw someone do it on their blog, and once you coat the outside with a clear sealant, you can use it for flowers and everything!