I saw a statistic before the Thanksgiving holiday about the percentage of Black Friday shoppers who bought on impulse. I didn’t write it down or anything, it wasn’t that important at the time, but it was logical enough – end caps filled with soft blankets and sparkly pillows, deep boxes of mittens and slippers by the registers yields immediate gift solutions for those hard to buy for family members. It’s strategies like that that make me have pretty strong opinions about retail shopping in general between the months of October-December, but there we were, at the mall at lunchtime on Black Friday because we were bored, cutting through Sears for a chance to people watch and listen to holiday music between baby naps – I stress, not to buy shit – but damn it, wouldn’t you know that all of the appliances are seriously discounted until 1pm? And it’s 12:55? And within 4 minutes, you both picked your brand new range of choice, and have your transaction processed by the helpful salesman with his handy iPad register just so that you can save that $450 or almost half the price on something that you weren’t expecting to buy today? Oh, the ironies.
There was a lot of mumbling under my breath about being a predictable statistic and how amazing it’s going to be to cook on gas again.
It was at some point when I was painting the kitchen cabinets that we pulled the electric range out from the wall for the first time (vomit! I won’t go there.) and realized that the previous owners had either once had a gas range or had the genius foresight to run a gas line in place through the floor to accommodate future wishes to have a gas range. And that, friends, was a happy day. It pushed “NEW STOVE” right to the top of my wish list, even higher than the “NEW FRIDGE” to replace the one that has been ailing for a 17 months, and I’m still side-eyeing.
Of course, if I’m being candid, I don’t really advise spending hundreds of dollars at speed of light or Black Friday impulse buying regardless of how good the price tag is, unless you’ve done your homework before you head out and price compare and blah blah. This was a stupid purchase – also, stupidly awesome, because last night I made couscous and it wasn’t a pain in my ass because I had all of the power over the heat source.
It wasn’t until it was installed by the plumber yesterday morning (to make sure that line was all in-check, we don’t mess around with natural gas) that we realized the knobs were in the perfect location to be twisted by curious tiny baby fingers, the same fingers that pull every cabinet knob and poke every belly button. For now, that blue painters tape is enough to deter and prevent turning until I have time to pick out what’s going to undoubtedly be a super-terrible-looking contraption for child-safety… it is my punishment for being impulsive. People, just remember to get knobs on the top next to the clock and spare yourself a head-slap. I’ll just go ahead and say it, I was so distracted by the cool marketing language for each burner that I totally didn’t think twice about their location, I fell for it…. TURBO! (It was very turbo.)
The product itself is a Kenmore 5.0 cu. ft. Freestanding Gas Range w/Variable Self-Clean, regularly priced at $999.99 (but face it, you never have to pay full-price on Kenmore). It’s currently listed at closer to $750 which is still not a bad price but we picked it up for even $200 less and with free shipping and with like, $75 in free Shop Your Way rewards credited to our account, and now you understand why I was able to make a decision on a new range in only minutes time. This is the first time I actually looked up the product on the website and I’m quite relieved to see that it has 4.5 stars. Probably more people impressed with the quality of their couscous vs. using an Electric range.
Without sounding totally annoying, did anyone else scoop up any great Black Friday deals this year, or was it all bathrobes and useless electronics?

5 Comments
How about removing the knobs to be used as needed? No knobs would probably look better than painter’s tape.
Gas ranges don’t typically have knobs on the back. They don’t want you and your hair and sleeves reaching over open flames! I have seen rubber knob covers at places like Kids R Us and Target.
Ahh! That would make sense. I guess I’ve lived with electric ranges for so many years now that I wouldn’t have put one + one together.
Em,
I sent five or so years with the knobs pulled off of my stove. They used to just pull off (do they still?). The metal pins underneath are not the best look either, but a smudge better than tape. And you could put them back on in a jiffy if you wanted the house to look all grown up.
BTW, the knob curiosity/touching phase isn’t much longer. Don’t regret your bargain impulse purchase.
Found some cool knob covers that will do us A-OK for the next year. Step back, and they actually don’t look much unlike the black knobs that were there already. I tore the tape 4 times trying to make Mac and Cheese, so I knew it wasn’t a good permanent solution. Happy Holidays!